Identity
So who can be a lesbian? I know I've often been described as someone who has very black and white views on this subject. I'm really interested to know what other people think on this subject. Are you a lesbian if you occasionally sleep with men, but predominantly with women? Are you a lesbian if you are in a relationship with a man that doesn't involve sex and you seek intimacy from women? In order to look at whether or not there is a lesbian community, I think you have to first seek some ideas of what constitutes being a lesbian...
posted by anthroethics at 9:38 PM
3 Comments:
I am in a long term relationship with a women which is open, loving, and respectful, but I consider myself bisexual because I also am attracted to men. I consider myself a feminist first and foremost.
i always have been ME to start with. i fall in love with people because I do. that they are female (i could say always, but don’t want to), is because I am attracted to females. do i need more reasons? does that make me a lesbian? my former girlfriend used to say: ' i am not a lesbian, my girlfriend is', so what is the difference between me and her? is it, that i had been with more women? is it, that she didn’t want to belong to a certain group of people within the society, those who call themselves lesbians? i am never sure, WHY i should call myself 'lesbian', even though, by definition (what ever that is) i am one: i am sexual attracted to women and am a woman myself.
i am not secretive about my sexual life and attraction to women, i am conscious about that being around lesbians, the chance i might find someone, who is attracted to me likewise is higher, the sharing of relationship experiences might be more appreciated... but do i need to call myself a lesbian for that? do i need to attend a certain group, a lesbian society? i also don’t feel connected to my nationality and culture, so why should i to my sexual orientation? what is it good for? doesn’t it compromise ME in some way, since i have to 'fit in', follow rules in some sense, maybe look, appear, behave, speak, response in a certain way? do i want that? i am not sure. so yes, i am who i am, which appears to be a woman loving women.
Hmmm, indeed... what does constitute being lesbian? People talk about 'coming out' like it's that simple... but I couldn't tell you for sure whether I'm hetero, bi, or homosexual... what age are you supposed to know this by? I have been attracted to guys in the past, but have a feeling I've also been attracted to other women.
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